she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
