Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
