Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
