If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
