i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
