Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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