Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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