Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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