i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
