The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
