You made me cry and you don't even care
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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