there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
