I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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