new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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