they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
