dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
