It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
