i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
