but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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