I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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