You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
