Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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