So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
