So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
