I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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