Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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