You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize