The beer is more important than you right now.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
