it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
