The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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