My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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