am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
