The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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