She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
