How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize