It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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