it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
