He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
