Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
