respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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