I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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