uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
