Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
