were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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