yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
