everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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