You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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