i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
