We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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