long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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