If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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