They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
