You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
