Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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