I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
