im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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