you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
