In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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