I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
