don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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