U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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