I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
