Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
