not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
