i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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